I have decided to give my regards to family that makes incest so popular!

-Lactose Intolerants first member. Holds the position of child to breast amputator. I-apathy stops the mouth of a baby from touching a mother's breast even if he has to sacrfice his own mouth in it's place. That's commitiment.

-Being named corporate world, we found a postion that would be right up his alley: Backstabbing. So welcome our Manager of backstabbing! He will used to stab anyone who looked at him cockeyed, but now he stabs for us! Stabbing occurs to such lactose spreaders as Milkman, cows, mice, goats, Jesus, and so forth. If you have a milk mustache, be prepared to add a jagged knife in your lower back as well! (he is also the co-ordinator for all baby showers)

- Frostblaze is now our consultant for non-lactose consuming and buying. Whenever we go shopping for non lactose delisharies such as pastachios, cucumbers, Human fat, Sprite bottles, crack cocaine, batteries, dinosaur eggs or toilet paper, Frostblaze will spend the time reading the lable to make sure lactose is not part of your daily diet! Why did she get this job? Because so far, she's the only member who's literate! ...She is also the only female member (i-apathy is still needs two more surgeries) So, because of her, we can have a vessel to create super gentitic armies of Lactose intolerants!


-When angelicrose first mentioned the word ‘sanitation’, the entire Lactose Intolerant team became baffled, and right there and then, forty minutes later, we found a wonderful position (this time, without the use of teachings of Karma Sutra, that will come when we get her hammered) for her: Our confuser, nicknamed ‘the Church.’

Like the church on unsuspecting Ignoramuses (Catholics), angelicrose will go around with the power of words and spreads the lexis of anti lactose to all unsuspecting followers. When someone says, “I like milk.” Angelicrose will respond with “Anyone who sucks the vile poison from such an utter will most likely receive category touching from the knee’s up by Michael Jackson…or CoCo. He’s been lonely lately.” Or she could simply say “lactose makes baby Jesus cry.”

This person, now confused with words incomprehensible for their brain capacity (What’s utter mean? My dad says my mom has big ones!) will begin to walk around aimlessly, fearing that lactose is a tool of the devil and can turn one into a werewolf/vampire hybrid that has sex before it’s married and eats meat on Fridays.

Her target audience are the mentally challenged, horribly religious people (IQ of 40) the cast of trailer park boys, and Deviantart Admin. She will also be armed with a thesaurus and some mace in the face in case (hey a rhyme!) someone with an above High School Education crosses her path.

She is also been put on the wet T-shirt team. The fans weren’t happy with CoCo night after night. I guess it was because you could see his nipple hair through the shirt.


-Not only being the beauty behind the lens in the lactose intolerant group, Beautybehindthelenz happens to be the only one us who can sport the term 'beauty' on the resume. It could be the fact that she is the only one of us that doesn’t have to practice the comb over, or the fact that her face consists more than small pox scabs and rat bites, or how she uses make up to enhance her features, not hide, or the fact that here eyes that blink at the same time and she doesn’t have to control her terets, anyway you look at it, she’s the most attractive member of stop-the-lactose (other than there modest leader, but you all know that) So we have decided to use the only beaut out of our collective brutes to be the official stop-the-lactose model! She can now glide her size 7 hips down the runway with sporting a sexy sleek kill baby cows t-shirt, then show off her glamorous pout to convert all prepubescent boys to lactose intolerantism! (she will also be the spokesperson for the looks aren’t everything campaign. For some reason, models always get involved in things contradictory. That’s why all the beautiful ones date I-apathy.)


-The sponsor and head co-ordinator of all things other than baby showers and anal leakage. He makes sure things are running like a well oiled machine, or at least like a hedgehog with a tumor. Or a goat with it's head cut off! Constantly running in different directions, until it finally lumps over and twitches it's leg ever so often. I think that' the lactose intolerants in a nutshell.




If you want to become a member, remember (I made a rhyme! I'm the next Ashley Olsen! Assuming she's black, that is. I never payed enough attention, I was always so lost in the great story line of her movies.): Stop drink lactose! Take all existing butter and feed it to a homeless man. Than murder him later that night. Jab all utters/breasts with anything sharp and/or rusty! (leave Pamela Anderson's alone, the only thing we could get out of those are wax paper or something.)

Or send me a note!

Like a child to it's mother
Send the milk back to the utter!
- I am a lactose intolerantarian.

Love, CoCo.